Tag Archives: Marriage

Why 30 is not the New 20

Below, a link to a TED talk from May 2013 that serves as wake up call to all the 20somethings who think they’ve “still got time.”


This video manages the impossible feat of being both anxiety inducing and comforting all at once. Meg Jay (the psychologist in the vid) has put in fancier words (and with a slightly annoying Southern drawl) what my momma has been telling me for years: No such thing as being with someone even though you’re definitely not getting married / don’t get stuck in a “temporary fix” career / your body and your fertility are serious things to consider.

But Jay doesn’t just draw from her life experiences like our mommas do, she’s got the science to back it up.

By 35, we’ve done 8/10 of the most “important steps” of our lives. YIKES. That means by 30, we should already be in that framework.

In a nutshell: ”As a culture we have trivialized what is actually THE defining decade.”

(Well actually, that New York Times article did a lot to strengthen that argument. The article that elicited all those “That’s so true! This.Is.Me.” Facebook statuses.)

The video got me thinking – How many years have we already “wasted” on the not-perfect job, partner, friends, country, hobbies? Why do we wait so long to do what is both good for us in the long run and the short run? Why are we so ready to believe the 30s are the new 20s?

How did we get to a place where we were “allowed” 10 whole years to mess up, mess around – that the big things will find a way to fix themselves, later? Are we all just collectively procrastinating?


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